This open letter isn’t a plead for help or a cry for sympathy. I just felt the need to rant how I feel.
Sometimes I get tired of being everyone’s savior or their “helper.” Everyone always wants to depend on me for advice or other problems they may have. When will someone be there for me? It ain’t easy being the shoulder to lean on when there is no one out there for you. I get so drained at times. It literally sucks the life out of me. I’m tired of hearing the cliche line “I’m here if you need me”. I already know that’s bullshit. Even if I do try at least once to reach out for help to the same people that act like they were going to be there. They don’t come through or never show that they really care. That’s the main reason why I have trust issues with opening up to others on a personal level.
I Have Breakdowns Too
I’m human like the rest of you. I have moments when I cry & breakdown. There are times when I wanna say “fuck the world” & be heartless. I continue to stay strong so I won’t let my battles defeat me. I hate seeing myself upset cause that’s not the type of person I’m supposed to be. Plus the more I let my anger & emotions get to me the more bitter I can become. I don’t want to be bitter. I like the feeling of happiness.
Who Can I Run to About my Problems?
It would be nice to have someone to run to about my problems. I don’t mind being the listening ear to others because I do enjoy helping people. So, don’t try to misunderstand what I am saying in this open letter. I just need someone to listen to me for a minute and help me out when I am at my lowest point. Sometimes I need to hear someone give me encouraging words besides myself. I’m always there for myself no matter what I am going through. You would think I would have people out there to give me a helping hand because I was by their side during difficult times. Well, I didn’t get the favor in return.
Of course, I don’t expect everyone to be as kind-hearted as I am. Everyone is different in their own way. I just maybe expect a little more from the people I was close to on a personal level. A simple how I am doing or a sweet surprise would be great also. It’s the little things that matter to me more anyway. You don’t have to always go above or beyond to satisfy me.
I am the “savior” that is TIRED!
I am the “savior” that is TIRED! I will not be available to people who won’t give me the favor in return. No one will walk into my life to use me for their own selfish needs. Putting everyone before myself is where I made a mistake. That mistake will not be happening anymore. I guess everyone sees me as the “strong” friend or person so that’s why they never question what’s going on in my life. Sometimes the strong person in your life needs you to be there for them.
So, if you read this open letter don’t forget to check on the people you are close to. It doesn’t matter if they make their life seem so “great” even a great life has its struggles. Or if you are someone like me that is tired of being the savior, therapist, or associate others vent to I pray that you find someone who YOU can come to and share your struggles with and they actually care. We all need some support no matter what we are going through in life.