If Your Love

If your love is sweet

I want it

If your love is protection

I need it

If your love is pure

I need it

Your love is all I need

Shower me with unconditional love

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Lynn’s Close Call

Lynn phone alarm ring *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.* The phone kept ringing until she finally turned over to push the stop button. The time on the phone showed 7:00 am. Lynn has to be at work at 8:30 am. She hurried up out of bed so she could wash and get dress. After she finishes showering and getting dress Lynn took a look at the time again. Now the clock is showing 7:35 am.

“I need to hurry up out this house before I am late.” Lynn thinks to herself.

She makes sure she has everything she needs before she walks out the door.

“Keys check, phone check, and purse check. That should be everything.” Oh yeah, let me make sure I have my wallet.” Lynn says to herself aloud. Everything Lynn needed is with her. She walks out her front door then turns around to lock the house front door.

As she is locking her door from a distance someone was watching her. This stranger has watched her for a month. The stranger learned her daily routine quickly. Lynn isn’t aware of the danger that’s coming her way. The unknown person gets out of the black van and walks towards Lynn. While the stranger walks closer Lynn could feel a weird energy. As usual, she ignores the feeling. For some odd reason, the feeling gets stronger with each second that goes by.

Before Lynn could turn around to walk to her car. She felt a sharp excruciating pain in her throat. The stranger in the black clothing grabbed Lynn from behind and cut across Lynn’s throat with an 8-inch kitchen knife. Blood splatter all over the house front door. Lynn dropped to the ground with her left hand holding on to her neck while she gasps for air. Her “killer” stood over her while she bled to death. A sinister grin spread across their face. “Enjoy dying BITCH!” the killer says while looking down at Lynn. Those were the last words Lynn heard before she went unconscious. As quickly as the stranger came they disappear even faster after leaving Lynn to fight for her life outside of her home.

Lynn woke up in a hospital bed. When she tried to open up her eyes. She is blinded by a bright light. Looking around the room trying to familiarize herself with her surroundings. Her first reaction was to panic because she had no clue where she was. The last thing she remembers was trying to leave her house for work.

Looking down at her stain bloody left hand there was an IV inside her hand.

“What the hell happened to me?” Lynn thinks to herself while trying to lift herself up in bed.

“Be careful Ms. Clover I don’t want you to mess up your stitches.” Nurse Summer tells Lynn.

“STITCHES!?” Lynn tried to shout but no words came out and it hurt to talk.

“Take it, easy sweetie. If you need anything you can write it on that notepad over there or type it on this tablet and send the message directly to me.” There is a notepad and pen on the table next to the hospital bed. Also, the tablet that Nurse Summer told Lynn about sat right beside the notepad and pen.

The nurse walked over to the bed to make sure Lynn is comfortable. “Do you need anything else?” Nurse Summer asked Lynn. Lynn shook her head no.

“Alright, press the nurse button on the remote if you need me or text me on the tablet.” Nurse Summer says as she walks out the door.

Left alone in the room Lynn is still trying to figure out what causes her to go to the hospital. Someone knocked lightly on the room door. A tall gray-haired slender man entered the room. Detective Reynolds walks towards Lynn so he can introduce himself.

“Hello, Ms. Clover I’m sorry to walk in on you. I would like to introduce myself and ask you a few questions. My name is Detective Reynolds can you tell me a little information about the incident that happened in front of your house this morning?”

Lynn grabs the notepad and pen she writes down “what incident?” on the paper. Then shows the detective the notepad she wrote on.

“The incident that causes you to bleed to death.” Detective Reynolds responds. Lynn’s eyes popped wide open when she heard what the detective said. He could see the surprised look on her face. “Do you remember what happened? Detective Reynolds continues to talk and ask questions. “A witness told us they were passing by your house and saw you lying on the ground bleeding to death.”

When the paramedics arrive at the scene you were already unconscious. Your throat was cut very bad. You’re blessed to be alive right now. Lynn listened to the detective carefully as she processes the information she’s receiving. She felt speechless, violated, and hurt. Who would do something like this to her?

TO BE CONTINUED…

Who do you think tried to kill Lynn? What would you do if you were in Lynn’s situation? If you enjoyed this short story share your thoughts about it.

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Catching Feelings for Someone You’re Attracted To

Have you ever tried to stop yourself from liking somebody? It’s like you try to force yourself to not catch feelings for them but it happens. Even when you try not to think about that person you still have them on your mind. Each thought consistent of a future you could have with the person or how much time you want/wish you could have with them. There’s a spark in them that attracts you. Fighting your feelings is a tough battle. One thing you can’t deny is the fact that your feelings don’t lie. Deep down inside it uncovers the truth behind whatever you’re trying to hide.

Forcing yourself to not catch feelings seem impossible in a way. Sometimes it’s better to go with the flow of life. Let your feelings flow freely. If you feel bold or brave enough make your feelings known towards the person you’re attracted to. Make sure you carefully thought about how to approach the situation though. Try not to put yourself in an unnecessary situation. Figure out why you are trying to fight your attraction towards a person. Is it because of your past? Maybe you heard bad rumors about your crush. Possibly you made a vow to yourself to not fall deep for someone new but it’s not turning out how you thought it would. You see we all have our reasons to why we try to avoid catching feelings. It’s a risky circumstance to put yourself in. Especially if you have doubts about it.

It’s okay to be open about your feelings for someone special. Being open about your feelings can lead to something life changing. Just remember not to forget why you are careful about your feelings towards the person you are attracted to. Like I said earlier in the article your feelings don’t lie. If it’s obvious that the person is no good for you, please don’t pursue to make things serious with them. They are not worth losing yourself for. Be smart, happy, and accept your fate! 

Gif Source: GIPHY 

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Beauty She Sees

Beauty

Is what she saw when she let happiness in her life

Beauty washes over her internally and externally

Skin Glowing

Blessings flowing

Self-esteem high

She grew into the person she always wanted to be

Life changed her

Proving enemies wrong

Dreams coming true

This is the life she envisions

This is the beauty she sees

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Tips on How To Support Others

Showing support towards others shouldn’t be as hard as most people try to make it seem. Some people would rather see someone struggle instead of helping out at least a little bit. I guess society has most people scared to show genuine support towards another person because you’re helping “competition.” Why can’t everybody win and help each other out? Hopefully, the tips that are shared in this article will motivate you to start supporting others more. 

Show your Support

Share a person post on social media: Whenever you see someone asking for support or help on social media see what you can do to help them. Most of the time a person will ask you to share or simply like their post. Try sharing and liking their post even if you’re not interested in what they are posting maybe your followers are though. The only time you shouldn’t worry about sharing their post is if it’s something illegal, inappropriate, or something you’re against. It’s not hard at all to share a post. You share everything else on your timeline anyway!

Show Interest in their content or product: If you like a product or content someone post make sure you bring it to their attention that you like what they are posting. That can help them keep sharing stuff you like. Also, they will appreciate your support. Your support can make a positive effect on a person. 

Show support and you will get support back: Have you ever noticed once you show support towards others they will do the same to you? Sometimes you should make the first move to get yourself noticed. Once you catch the person attention then they will automatically go to your profile and see what you’re all about. Basically, you get yourself some exposure through socializing on social media or maybe even talking in person because they may be interested in what you’re doing.

Let’s start supporting others more. I challenge you to share one of your Facebook friends, IG, or Twitter followers post if they are trying to promote their business products, website content, or party etc… Your one or more shares can make a difference. Before you go answer this question why do you think people make it difficult to show support to others?

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I HATE YOU

I hate you…

Harsh to say but I mean it

I hate how much you hurt me

I hate how I put YOU before myself

I hate you for making me feel insecure

I hate you for taking advantage of my loyalty

I hate how much you never paid attention to the little things

I hate how you pretend to care about me

I hate how much I accepted all the lies, fake love, and games you played

I hate how angry you make me feel

I hate the nights I cried over you

I hate you so much!

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Time to Love Yourself

Love Yourself

It’s time to put yourself first. Why are you holding yourself back? You deserve to be loved. Your 1st love has to be yourself. Falling in love with yourself is the sweetest love you will experience. No one else love can compare to the love you have for yourself. It’s true when they say you must learn how to love yourself before you love someone else.

Self-love will bring you happiness, confidence, and high self-esteem. Your inner beauty will overshadow your external beauty. You will grow a new level of respect for yourself also. Your strength will overpower any weakness you had. Don’t be afraid to start loving yourself NOW! There is never a wrong time to start doing it. Take advantage of the time you have alone. Learn about every little piece of yourself. You are a beautiful person and don’t forget that! 

If you made it to this point of the article it was meant for you to read this. Maybe this topic has been on your mind lately and you didn’t know how or when to start. Well, now you have your confirmation. Loving yourself is the best thing that will ever happen to you! 

How do you feel about loving yourself? Do you think that self-love is healthy and important? If you started your self-love journey already share your experience.

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I Started a T-Shirt Business (Come Support Me)

Hey readers, I have some exciting news to tell you! I started my own T-shirt business. Yes, your girl Reflection of Des has her own t-shirt store. I’m happy about this new journey. This is my first time selling shirts. At one point, I was hesitant about starting this business because of money and deciding if this is something I’m serious about. After doing a lot of thinking I finally decided to put work into my new business. I am praying it grows successful.

Just in case, you’re wondering my t-shirt store consist of graphic tees with quotes on them. I have a different variety of shirts for everyone. Whether you are young, old, a man or woman etc… you will find a shirt that’s perfect for YOU! CLICK HERE TO VISIT MY ONLINE STORE. Down below is shirts I am currently selling. If you like a shirt please support me and purchase one or if you know someone who would like one share it with them. Each sell will help me produce more shirts. Also, I will be launching more shirts too!

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SHIRTS I AM CURRENTLY SELLING

Click on the name of the shirts to see more details about it.

Blog Your Heart Out: $13 USD (Available in the colors Black, Pink, Grey, Green, Purple, Red, Light Blue, & Burgundy)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KING Tee– $15.00 USD: (Available in the colors White, Black, Dark Green, & Dark Grey)

 

 

I’m a Baddie Tho – $16 USD (Available in the colors Blue, Purple, White, Light Purple)

 

 

Write Your Heart Out – $13 USD (Available in the colors Black, Red, Pink, Orange)

God Blessed You Hoodie – $21 USD (Available in the colors Dark blue, Red, Black, Grey, Pink)

 

God Blessed You T-Shirts – $15 USD (Available in the colors Black, Red, Blue, Green, Pink, Light purple)

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The Aftermath of You

Aspirin is what I need for the headaches

Broken hearted isn’t what I want to feel

Caring about you is something I won’t do anymore

Deciding to put you before myself made me look foolish

Enough is enough

Fuck how you feel

GO RUIN SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE

Healing is a process I need to go through

I wouldn’t expect you to understand

Just my luck you change into a better person after I’m done with you

Loving you is my biggest regret

Numb is how I am feeling inside

Opened my eyes to see the person you truly are

Pleading for my forgiveness won’t change a thing

Questioning you wouldn’t answer anything

Remember karma will come for you

Soak in every word I tell you

Time spent without me will eat you alive

Unhappiness will no longer surround me

Waiting for you to change is what I am tired of

X-ed out the memories I had of us

Your wicked ways won’t protect you forever

Zipping up my suitcase and leaving with no return

The aftermath of you is what made my heart numb. Loving you is my biggest regret. Drowning in my pain. If you enjoyed this poem share your thoughts!

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5 Ways to Deal With a Nightmare

Nightmares come and go when they feel like it. The worst part about it is the fact we can’t control when it happens. It leaves us waking up in fear and not wanting to fall back to sleep. In this article, you will read a few tips that may help you if you are having nightmares.

Remind yourself it’s not real: Dreams can feel so real especially nightmares. It’s important for us to try to remind yourself in the dream that it’s not real. That reminder can calm you down a bit in your nightmare.

Pray: This is a tip you don’t have to do if you don’t want to. From my experience, I prayed to God to get me out of some of my nightmares and I woke up out of the bad dream. Once I start doing that it amazed me how prayer actually worked. It may some crazy to you but trust me it worked.

Don’t eat junk food: This is one of the most common tips. In case you didn’t know eating junk food before bed can cause nightmares. It may sound weird but it’s true. Crazy how food can affect how we dream. Just like any food can affect our mood. I believe it may be a myth though. Here are articles about junk food causing bad dreams:

Do Certain Foods Really Cause Bad Dreams?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dream-factory/201501/do-certain-foods-really-cause-bad-dreams

17 Foods that Cause Bad Dreams

https://www.eatthis.com/foods-bad-dreams/

6 Foods That Can Affect Your Dreams & Sleep

https://www.bustle.com/articles/136513-6-foods-that-can-affect-your-dreams-sleep

Use a dreamcatcher: Most people like to have dream catchers above their bed to catch their bad dreams. It’s a way of protecting you while you’re sleeping. Indians were a firm believer of the dream catchers. Even though I have one I never experience it taking away my bad dreams. Everyone is different though. You still should try it out.

Sleep with a Bible: If you carry a Bible with you then you should sleep with it under your pillow. My grandmother told me how she use to put her Bible under her pillow to keep her safe. I always thought it was clever.

After reading this article, I hope you find some tips that will work out for you. If you do try some of the tips share your experience in the comment section. What are your thoughts on nightmares?

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Your True Intentions

Deep-rooted pain

With you, I feel so ashamed

Low self-esteem surrounds me like bees swarm around honey

Insecurity is what I am accustomed to

Sex didn’t make you stay

Fake love is what you portray

You never wanted to stay

Your true intentions showed that day

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Violence in America

Every time I look at the news or get on social media I see some type of new crime happening. Mainly the crime consist of someone is getting shot. Innocent people are getting killed. It’s a shame that the country who is supposed to be united is getting torn apart by violence itself. America is turning into a place you would less likely want to be at this point. It shouldn’t be this way. No one should have to live in fear because the majority of America is inhumane. THE VIOLENCE HAS TO STOP!

People here always want to talk about how disgusted or sad they are about the violence but still don’t do anything about it. Obviously, some of them don’t care as much as they say. Then again individuals have their own ways of making a positive change in the world. Thank God for the people who do take action. We still need more people who stand up against the violence and isn’t afraid to speak up. We have been quiet for too long.

AREN’T YOU TIRED OF IT?

How long is it going to take to open people eyes to realize that gun violence itself is a huge problem. Everyone wants it for protection which I understand that point of view. The only thing about having a gun is the group of individuals who use it for the wrong reasons and take advantage of it. Aren’t you tired of seeing innocent people dying? Or worrying about if your LOVED ONES or YOU are going to live to see another day. This is truly sickening to the stomach. Sometimes I believe it is good that the majority of us get to see how cruel the world is. This is a way to spark someone to do better and make a change.

Then we have the bad side of certain people viewing the violence. You know we live in a monkey see and monkey do (copy what others are doing) type of world. They love copying the negative but slow on trying to copy positive actions.

You see it’s a back and forth situation with the violence because everyone processes it differently. I hope people will come together more to stop the chaos that’s going on. It shouldn’t have got this bad anyway. What’s your thoughts of the violence in America or in the world in general? Do you constantly worry what’s going to happen next? Do you believe there will be a change in the near future? No thoughts or opinions are off limits. Remember to be respectful to others if you do share your opinions though.

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If Only the World Was Like This

If only we can all live in happiness

No hatred

Peace everywhere

People die without tragic deaths

Things happen but not to the extreme

Imagine a world like that

Sounds too good to be true right?

It’s never too late to make a change

Let’s create less pain…

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Urban Fiction Books You Should Read

Finding urban fiction books are tough if you don’t know any good authors or bookstores who sell those type of books. Even when I was younger it was hard for me to find books by black authors. When I finally discover where to get urban fiction books it felt like heaven. In this article, I will list good urban fiction books you should read. All the books I list are books I read before.

That Girl is Poison by Tia Hines – Desiree Jones was abandoned by her mother. She had to stay with her uncle and his abusive wife. Everything gets worse when she gets involved with this dude name Malik who leaves her pregnant and with HIV. Check out the book review I did on this book. Amazon price: $14.95 USD (paperback) $4.99 USD (Kindle price) 

The People vs. Cashmere by Karen Williams – Family tragedy happens which leads Carmen and Cashmere to live with their hateful aunt. To survive the sisters turn to drugs and prostitution. Carmen starts to get jealous when their pimp falls in love with her sister Cashmere which led to crazy events to happen. Amazon price: $6.99 USD 

Moth to a Flame by Ashley Antoinette – Raven’s dad is over the drug trade. He tries to keep her away from the street life but she falls in love with a stickup kid name Mizan who wants a come up. This book is really good. I believe I cried when I read it too 😂. It had drama you would’ve never seen coming. Amazon price: $3.99 USD

Mina’s Joint by Keisha Ervin – Mina gets out of the hood and is engaged to the Mayor’s son in her city. Everything seems perfect but things are not what they seem. Her life goes downhill when her childhood crush Victor Gonzalez comes back into her life. This book took so many twists and turns I wasn’t expecting at all. If you enjoy this book then you can read part 2. I haven’t read part 2 yet.  Amazon Price: $7.26 or $6.99 USD (the two cheapest prices I saw) 

Home Wrecker by Dwayne S. Joseph Lisette is a beautiful woman who works at a elite firm as the head fashion designer. One day her co worker Marlene comes to Lisette about a business deal that will make her wealthy. The business deal is to set up Steve (Marlene’s husband) to expose him as a cheater. While working her regular 9 to 5 job Lisette starts getting paid to ruin marriages as a Home Wrecker. Everything is going well until a strange caller threatens her life. I am just going to say this everyone got what they deserved in this book. Click here to read my review on the book. Amazon price: $6.99 USD 

Full Circle by Ayana Ellis: Carin is a young girl who was a stick-up kid with dangerous thugs in Brooklyn, NY. Then her lifestyle changes when she meets Monty. He is the guy who knocked her off her feet. Monty is an influential man in the streets of Brooklyn. Everything is going well between him and Carin until their relationships turn abusive and came with other hellish events. Man if I am not mistaken I cried when I read this book. It’s a thick book but worth reading. Amazon Price: $6.99 USD 

Diary of a Street Diva by Ashley Antoinette & JaQuavis Coleman: This book is truly a page-turner. It’s about the wife of a hustler name Caesar dying from a fatal gunshot. He has to go on trial for her murder. On the morning of the trial, he discovers her diary that holds hidden secrets of her past he never knew about. Amazon Price: $5.26 USD

The Prada Plan by Ashley Antoinette: This was the first urban fiction book I read. After I read this book I got hooked on the book genre. To be honest, this might be one of the wildest books I ever read. The story is about a girl name Diaysa Morgan who falls in love with a guy name Indie and tries to hide her treacherous lifestyle. The lifestyle is filled with drugs and prostitution. This book has a whole series. I didn’t get to finish the whole series though. Amazon price: $5.99 USD

After reading this article I hope you go and check out the books. Let me know if you want a part two of urban fiction books you should read. If you have read any of these books tell me in the comment section. Have you ever read urban fiction books before? Also, before you go I will list stores where you can buy urban fiction books.

List of Stores

Walmart (in the book department in the African American section)

Thriftbooks (randomly search up an urban fiction author then click on a book buy them then you should get other suggestions of other urban fiction books)

Amazon

Barnes & Noble (have to find the books by the author name. You may have to write down a list of authors before you go in the store unless you have specific books you are looking for)

Books- a- Million (they used to have an African American section like Walmart but I believe they got rid of it. So, just find the books by the title or author)

If I find more stores I will update this list. I only list the stores I purchase books from.

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Why a Person Grows Bitter Inside

A person doesn’t wake up one day and say “oh I will be bitter today” it’s always a story behind a bitter person. Yes, it’s hard to see past the individual bitterness but take your time to look deeper into why they act that way. One of the main reasons they may feel resentful is from some type of hurt they endure from the past or present. Not everyone is forgiving when they experience a heartbreaking situation. The happiest person in the world could go through a hurtful situation that may turn them into a bitter person. Like I mention not too long ago a hurt person grows bitter from past or present experiences.

Let’s say a woman or man went through a relationship where they loved someone wholeheartedly then their significant other cheated on them or does something to cross their loyalty. The man or woman who got crossed never got the apology they deserved or simply chose not to forgive the person who damages them. As days, months, and years went by they kept the pain buried deep in their heart or soul. When a person holds all that pain inside of course they are going to turn into a toxic human being. It’s only so much a person can hold in. Let’s not act like bitterness randomly appears out of nowhere and consume a person. There is a reason behind everything.

Now, think about this scenario a woman name Teresa came up with a business plan that would benefit everyone around the world. Teresa confides in her business partner about the plan. The business partner took her plan and took all the credit for it. Teresa wasn’t too happy about how everything took place. She felt humiliated and stupid for trusting someone with her golden plan. That was a slap in the face. Now she is stuck in a situation with seeing her ex business partner living off the luxuries of the business idea she came up with. No one ever cared about how Teresa felt. So, what do you think she did? Fought to take what was hers then when that didn’t work out she grew a grudge against everyone. That grudge led her to grow bitter inside.

Are you understanding the point I am getting at? As people, we are quick to say someone is bitter or an evil person by nature. Sometimes that is not exactly true. That one bitter person was probably once a good-hearted person until they let their emotions or past experiences take control of their life. No one wants to live a miserable life. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article I stated, “A person doesn’t wake up one day and say, “oh I will be bitter today.” Just remind yourself to be more understanding with someone. But also, don’t let someone take advantage of you either.

Do you know someone who is bitter inside? Were you understanding with the person or you kept your distance away from them? If you don’t know anyone like this can you answer this question at one point were you bitter inside from a past situation? Feel free to share your story or thoughts in the comment section.

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Far Away From Home

People stare

They view me as a monster

Far away from home

No family

Surrounded by strangers

I’m the one in danger

Kidnap from the only place I knew

Finding my way back doesn’t exist

Temptation came to me

Now I have to survive in this unknown world

Far away from home…

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Memories We Share

Memories

We share so many…

The pictures show our happy moments

Our messages show arguments, jokes, and sweet paragraphs

Even the anniversaries & surprises crept into my thoughts

Every thought of you stays on my mind

Wishing the memories would fade

But they stay on my mind like a permanent stain

Memories…

Letting you go created more chaos

The truth didn’t set us free

Now I am stuck with the memories wishing we were meant to be

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Your Love & Lies…

Suffocated with your lies

Knowing the truth but my heart wants to deny

The love I have for you causes me to be so blind

Why can’t I leave you behind?

Loving you is convenient

But leaving you is heartbreaking…

The repeat of the hurt triggers me to hurt you back

I want you to feel the pain too

Early karma needs to come back to you…

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Women Provoke Men to Do Crazy Things

One thing that annoys me is the women who provoke men then play the victim when the man does something crazy to them. I have no respect for you if you are this type of woman. Especially, if it is a man or person who doesn’t deserve to be in a situation like this anyway. This is a message for those type of women STOP PLOTTING TO DO STUFF LIKE THIS. It’s not cute at all. One day, something crazy will happen to you then no one will believe you because all you do is cry wolf.

So, I am scrolling through my timeline on IG I see one of my followers post a screenshot of a message they got on Facebook messenger. Basically, the person on the message was telling my follower to stop reacting to their post, their tired of the bs, and my follower better be careful before they have to bury their kid. Now that last part of the message threw me off guard. Honestly, I took the threat seriously and it wasn’t directed towards me. People love talking reckless on social media it’s crazy.

Anyways, so after I read the screenshot I then read the caption of the picture. My follower started saying “the moment you don’t want to be with someone anymore and you react to the stuff they post on your wall and they inbox you this.” Then my follower proceeds to say that the person who message them is desperate and have nothing going for them self. Alright, so that was what my follower said. The person name got tagged in the IG post too.

The problem I have with this situation is the fact she intentionally tried to bother her ex-boyfriend. If you so call don’t want him then why are you taking your time to get some type of attention from him. Since I am being honest about the situation I feel like she is embarrassing herself more than embarrassing the man. Think about this if she didn’t react to any of man posts then he probably wouldn’t have sent her that crazy message. Even though I don’t know both of them personally I am just commenting on what I saw on social media. Seems like my follower is drama filled anyway.

The whole point of this article is the fact that most women do certain things intentionally to provoke men. Once the man does or says something bizarre to the woman then she wants to play like a victim. I can’t stand when any female does that. I swear they take advantage of the whole fact they are a woman and can technically get away with the situation. If you are going to bother a man or a person in general to the point you provoke them to do something crazy. Be ready for the person to spazz out on you!

For the women who love provoking men please stop it because you knew exactly what you were trying to do. You want the man to act crazy, so you can make him look like a bad person and take things to the extreme. If you get offended by this then you are probably a person who does stuff like this.

No, I am not saying a man or anyone, in general, should put their hands on a woman or do anything else crazy. I am saying if you keep bothering a person and hitting that nerve where they want to spazz out then don’t be surprised when they turn deranged. Every action gets a reaction. Watch how you do certain things. You are a foul person anyway if you do something evil then put the blame on someone else.

So, you made it to the end of this article I want to know your thoughts on this topic. Yeah, I may have started up a debate… oh well someone had to speak up about this. Do you think SOME women provoke men in situations? Have you ever been in a position where someone provokes you to do something out of your character? Let’s have a discussion in the comment section.

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Men Explain This

On social media, most of the time I see different men go crazy over attractive women. Especially the ones who are well known or popular all over the internet. Of course, it is in men nature to look at women. I am talking about the men who stay on social media apps for hours and are in the comment section of a lot of women pictures. It’s the same username you repeatedly see in the comments over hyping the woman. It’s nothing wrong with complimenting a woman but don’t make yourself look thirsty.

I have a question though why do most men always glorify IG models or baddies (sexy women) on social media? I mean I know the women are beautiful and all but dang why can’t you give the regular cute chick some attention sometimes. You don’t have to make yourself look thirsty or anything. What is wrong with a less popular woman on social media. Is it because she is not showing enough of her body or being sexy on the gram? I need some answers.

Even though most of you do not know exactly what I look like unless want to or trying to follow me on social media @reflectionofdes (hint hint) I am not ugly. I got a cute little face, but guys do not seem to pay me any attention and I am actually a decent person. Of course, they would not know that because they NEVER try to talk to me. I guess cause I am not wild or sexy enough.

Then again when I think about when men give popular women on social media attention most of the time they have the wrong intentions anyway. All attention is not good attention. I know those women get tired of those thirsty men all in the comments or their DMs. Hell, even an average woman like me get a few thirsty DMs every now and then. Thank God it is not too often. I swear men are thirstier than women. Then they think or believe if they keep bothering a woman she will finally give him attention. Sometimes it does work but the majority of the time it will result in the man getting blocked or embarrassed because the woman posts screenshots on their profile of messages and comments. We all know how that goes.

From a woman point of view the whole excessive DMs that is annoying and a big turn off. At least a turn off for me. Yes, I know all men do not hype up most women on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter that is why I try to carefully say SOME! So, do not come at me crazy! What makes the social media famous women so special? Their attractiveness, the easy access to see pics of them, they are the type of woman you fantasize about? I am so eager to know the answer.

Another thing I want to mention is I am not hating on those type of women. I do not blame them for showing off their beauty. It is paying off nowadays most companies want to see a sexy or beautiful face to promote their products anyway. They know those faces bring attention! Do not get me wrong everyone is beautiful in their own way though. This whole article is about how curious my mind is about men opinion about these women.

If you read this article until the end I want to know your thoughts on this topic. We can have a discussion in the comment section. Do you think men always draw their attention to women popular on social media? Even if you disagree with some of the things I mention in this article let me know.

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Men and Their Attraction

Men…

Most of them are attracted to IG models or “baddies”

Those women always get attention

Guess I have to get half naked to get attention too huh?

They never want to give the cute and intelligent woman with real goals a chance

Some men are such fools

Their lust for women is their downfall

Men…

Why aren’t the innocent girls good enough?

Tell me…

Because they are goody two shoes?

Not “bad” enough

or shall I say not WILD enough

Men…

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Suicidal

Suicidal…

What does that even mean?

A person who wants to kill themselves from all the pain they are enduring?

A person who wants “attention?’

Someone who is experiencing depression and anxiety that pushes them to be suicidal?

A person feeling numb from the world and wants to disappear?

A person who fakes their smiles so no one would discover their sadness?

Suicidal…

A person who is heartbroken because they will never be with the person they want and can’t live without

Suicidal…

Something that happens in the spur of the moment because you’ve reached your breaking point

Suicidal…

They told you that you were strong

But are you?

Suicidal…

The “thing” you thought of but couldn’t manage to…

Pull the trigger

Overdosed on the pills

Slit your wrist

Drown yourself in the water

Hang yourself in that bathroom or bedroom

Suicidal…

That little devil talking to you to give you the courage to do it

The cry for help because now everyone will see

The thought of finally being free is the only thing that sits in your mind

Suicidal…

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It’s You I Want

Why do I crave your presence so much?

Laying in bed thinking about you…

Can’t sleep

You’re stuck in my mind

Never thought you’ll be the person I would want so bad

Too bad I can’t let you know

Deep down inside I know the thought of us probably won’t happen

I accept that though

Maybe we can try in another lifetime

What if you’re feeling the same way I do?

Nooo you’re probably not

You probably never gave it a thought

or have you?

You see I am going back and forth with myself about it

Only time will show what your intentions are or were

Never would’ve thought you may complete the piece that’s missing inside of me

It’s you I want…

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Celebrity Men to Crush On

Every girl or woman has their group of celebrity men they have a crush on. It’s the men who are attractive and steals the girl heart even if she hasn’t met him before in her life. As you continue reading you are going to see the celebrity men I crush on. Ladies, if we share the same crush let me know! It’s only one of them who is completely off limit though lol. Don’t worry I will warn you who that is.

My list would be trash if I didn’t mention MY HUSBAND! He is off limit lol. This man happens to be Drake. There is a special light that shines on him. He is intelligent, makes good music for your soul, and attractive. I cannot forget to mention his gorgeous smile. Drake is the perfect package for me. Yes, I have not met him in person. If I ever do meet him I pray he’s a good-hearted person I believed he is.

I feel kind of bad for not putting this guy first on my list. The only reason why is because he was my first celebrity crush and I loved him since the 3rd grade. This man is CHRIS BROWN! People love to bash him all the time. It gets pretty old now. How would you feel if someone or people kept throwing your past in your face? Give the man credit for making changes and trying his best to stay out of trouble. He’s always been good looking and is blessed with God-given talent. This man can draw, sing, act, and dance. When I look at him it is something about him that makes me gravitate towards him. I love when he dances too.

This 3rd man had me crushing on him heavy since I saw him act in the movie Let It Shine. If you still have no clue who I am talking about then I will tell you. I’m talking about Trevor Jackson! Most of you probably recognize him from the show Grownish or you may have seen him on the movie Let It Shine, Burning Sands (Netflix movie), American Crime (tv show), and many more projects. Another movie that he is acting in is coming out soon. It’s called Superfly. I bet some of you did not know he makes music too. If you haven’t heard his music before you should check it out. His voice is amaaaaaazing! I swear when I hear him singing his songs he is singing to me.

 

Since you read about my top 3 celebrity crushes. I want to know which celebs you have a crush on. Tell me why you like them and you can post a screenshot of them in the comment section also. I am ready to read your comment. Also, if you enjoy this article feel free to share it on your social media page!

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Argumentative People on Social Media

Why are most people on social media argumentative? I swear they have huge balls behind their phone or computer. This is why I refrain from commenting on certain posts. I am the type of person who can’t stand going back and forth with others unless I have a reason to. Most of the time the social media stuff is not that deep. People love to get in their feelings when you have a honest opinion.

For example, last night I commented on a YouTube video stating my thoughts on the video. The video was about a famous YouTuber getting exposed because supposedly he is cheating on his girlfriend. Read the picture below to see what I commented:

final youtube comment

Okay, so you read what I commented right? There are 14 replies on it. 2 or 3 people out of the 14 replies were coming out me funny/crazy because of what I said. My thing is I don’t care if  you reply to my comment but don’t try to start an argument with me. Sometimes people fail to realize it’s not what you say it’s how you say it. For some reason before I publish the comment I had a feeling someone was going to try to start something for no reason.

Anyways, some of the rude replies was telling me to “use my head or brain” basically trying to call me stupid. Also, calling me a little kid who believe in fantasy relationships. First of all, I wanted to come through my phone and curse them out. Y’all it was burning me inside. Then I thought to myself it’s pointless and stupid to argue back with them. Another thing I want to mention is I think the whole relationship goals stuff is stupid to a certain extent. Clearly the person was talking junk and don’t know anything about me.

reply first black

2nd negative nancy black mark

On thing I did do is reply back to one of the negative comments. Basically I told the person I understand their point. The supposedly side chick could’ve sneak and record her with the famous YouTuber. She wouldn’t be the first person to try that. Read the picture below (I marked out the person name I was replying to out of respect):

blocked out name

So, after I replied back saying that. The person wanted to make it into a big argument. I decided to not reply. It’s childish. Then with the other negative comments I left it alone. Now I fully understand why celebrities turn off their comments on social media. I don’t blame them at all.

Anyways, back to what I was talking about. Random people on social media tend to find ways to turn something positive into something negative. In my situation, I believe the people in the replies wanted to prove me so wrong that they wasn’t trying to understand my point of view. The main reason why I wasn’t quick to call the man a cheater in the comments because…

1) I wasn’t there with him if he was messing around with the woman.

2) There are so many individuals who make up scandals on YouTube just so they can become the next big thing

3) I clearly pointed out that I am not trying to say the man is innocent at all.

I guess they couldn’t comprehend what I was trying to get at. Maybe they should use their BRAIN! lol Why am I being petty? Arguments always happen on social media it’s mainly up to you whether or not you want to entertain the bull shit. What are your thoughts about people being argumentative on social media? Do you think I took my situation last night in the wrong way? Put your thoughts in the comment section.

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Things You Should Blog About

Before you start reading deeper into this article. I’m not going to give you some bullshit advice (excuse my language). It’s not going to sound cliché either. So, let’s get right into it.

One thing you need to remind yourself is that YOU are in control of what goes on. This is YOUR blog not anybody else stuff.  You can post anything that you choose. Don’t over worry yourself about having a certain “niche” to focus on. I believe that is most of our problem. We get caught up in trying to focus on some certain criteria. It takes away from our creativity and holds us back on expressing how we feel. You will always find yourself thinking “are my readers or subscribers going to like this?” Will they stop reading my content because it’s not what they are expecting to read on my blog? That’s one thing you shouldn’t pressure yourself to worry about.

Normally when you read advice about what should your blog be about. Every person mentions a “niche.” Yeah, a niche is cool to think about and everything but honestly, in my opinion, it’s not too important. Of course, you want people to understand what your website is all about. I completely get that point. Eventually, they will understand what you’re all about. Just go with the flow of things.

When you are first starting out with blogging just create anything that comes to mind. It doesn’t matter one day you’re talking about painting a portrait then the next day you post about walking a dog. As long as it represents topics you enjoy writing about that is all that matters. The main goal of a blog is to write what you are passionate about right? That is why they create certain categories to place things in.

Instead of labeling yourself as a beauty, travel, or fashion blogger. Think of your blog as a simple lifestyle blog. Calling yourself a lifestyle blogger can give you a chance at being versatile on your site. If you are not cool with that like I said before it is YOUR blog. Do whatever you want.

The point I am getting at is when you are in control to bring your creativity to the light. Stop letting minor things hold you back. Especially, if you want to create your own blog. Blogging is a way to express yourself through writing and sharing it with the world. When you stay in tune with being yourself. It will shape your site into the most unique piece of work you ever put together.

If you read this article to the end. What are some challenges do you expect to face when creating blog content? Are you worried your blog won’t be good enough? Share your thoughts in the comment section. If you are already a blogger share some more advice to other bloggers.

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Forcing Toxic Relationships

Forcing a toxic relationship becomes a problem when you want to stay knowing that it’s not healthy for you. You need to accept the fact your ex doesn’t want to be with you. Why trap yourself with someone who doesn’t love you? If you stay more than likely they will keep cheating on you. Make your life miserable and distant themselves further away from you. You get what I’m saying?

Just because you are deeply in love with someone or want them to stay in your life forever doesn’t mean they are “the one for you.” It hurts to think about it that way, but you must accept it. If you choose not to accept the truth. Then go ahead and enjoy your miserable life. That’s all you’re going to get out of the relationship you are trying to force.

How many times do you want to get your heart-broken before you finally get it? Yes, I know leaving isn’t easy.  You must fight your weak heart and pull yourself out of the toxic relationship. Staying strong is the only way to get through it. Avoid picking up your phone to text or answer their calls. Block their number and block them on social media. Go out for a little while to have fun and clear your mind. Keep yourself busy with one of your favorite hobbies. You can even try to get a new hobby.

The point I’m trying to make is stop forcing yourself to be with someone who doesn’t love you back. You’re only hurting yourself. Let that toxic relationship GOOOOO! I know love can make you blind but damn how foolish can you be? If something isn’t meant to be it will NEVER work out. Take this piece of advice and start doing what’s best for you.

So, tell me have you ever went through a breakup you never thought you would get out of? If so, share your story in the comment section. I would love to read your story. It may help someone else out.

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That Numb Feeling

The world around me goes on

But I’m zoned out and feel numb

Nothing around me matters

I’m lost in my own thoughts

Internally I’m dying from so much I’m holding inside

Externally I’m “good”

Who cares what is wrong anyway?

All I have is myself

Fuck everyone else

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Married Man Message Me on Facebook! (Screen shots Included)

Hey readers, you know I have to spill the tea (tell you the latest gossip). Last night I happen to get on Facebook on my computer. When I logged on I noticed I had a message, so I click on the message icon to see who it was. It was from the married man. My first thought was “why the hell does he keep messaging me?” We don’t have anything to talk about.

Before I finish the story let me give you a little background on him. This guy and I knew each other when we were kids going to summer camp. Back then he used to have a crush on me. He is 2 or 3 years older than me. Right now, I’m 20 and he’s like 22 or 23 years old. He always liked underage girls back then though (such a creep). The girls would usually be like at least 2 or 3 years younger than him. Anyways, the last time we talk was when I was way younger (back in middle school).

BACK TO THE STORY…

After I saw that the man message me I put up a Facebook status saying “IF YOU ARE MARRIED OR IN A RELATIONSHIP AT ALL GET OUT OF MY INBOX! I DON’T WANT YOU!” Yes, the status was about him. I get so tired of him always trying to message me. For one he has a wife. Second, I always ignore his messages anyway. Third, we literally have nothing to talk about. As a married man, he shouldn’t be messaging other women at all on social media. Another thing is I’m not a family friend or had a close relationship with him anyway. We only shared conversation back when I was a kid.

Oh yeah, his wife and sister my Facebook friend also. I’m not going to lie I wanted to tag his wife name in the status and attach the screenshot, so she could see it. Then I told myself not to do it because she probably wouldn’t believe me or make me look like a bad person anyway. I don’t want her man plus maybe she might already know he message other women anyway 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Have you ever had someone in a relationship who kept messaging you on social media? If so, did you ignore or block them from your page? You can share your thoughts in the comment section.

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New Changes in Me

Lately, I’ve been noticing some changes in me. As I take each day one step at a time I can see growth within me. I’m truly finding myself. My journey started in 2017 and it continues to progress through 2018. I stopped talking to plenty people. They didn’t belong in my life at all. It surprises you when you separate yourself from useless individuals how much your life will change for good. My main focus is on myself. I got tired of being there for others and they barely returned the favor. Call me selfish if you want to but I don’t care. I’m at the point where I have to do what’s best for me and make myself happy. Life is so much better when all you have to do is focus on your own happiness.

As I go through my life changes I’m growing into the person I always wanted to be. I even discover new things that I enjoy. It feels so good to be there for myself. I mean I never depend on anyone for a shoulder to cry on. I tried to give some people a benefit of the doubt. Each person I met failed me. It’s such a shame. Some may think I’m acting different or funny for not communicating with them anyone. It doesn’t matter to me because they should’ve appreciated me while I was in their life. Yes, I am going to speak highly of myself. Deep down inside I know I am a special person that anyone would want in their life.

Another thing I want to mention is there are a good bit of individuals who misunderstood me. They believe they “know so much about me.” I always laughed at myself how wrong they were. I NEVER met anyone who took their time to get to know the REAL me! So, I don’t want to hear anybody else say they know me so well or at least think they know what I am all about.

As I close out this post like I mention earlier I am happy with the person I am becoming. I’m learning what’s my true purpose is in this world. At this point in my life, I believe in myself stronger than I did before. I’m happy with the goals I am trying to reach and what I have achieved so far. If you took your time to read this thanks for reading. I hope you also find happiness within yourself.

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Deadly Phine: A Tale of Urban Terror Book Review

Before I start this book review I want to thank Darrell King for giving me the opportunity to read and review his book. In this book review, it has a few spoilers. Continue reading if you don’t mind reading the spoilers…

Synopsis

Valentino is a drug lord who has HIV/AIDS with the goal of spreading the virus throughout the inner city. He does this to help with the government secret organization (the Illuminati) to reduce America’s black community. Valentino is the perfect guy to do this job. Women can’t resist him, and he doesn’t care about spreading the deadly virus because he does it for the money.

Overall Thoughts on the Book

When I started reading this book I was confused, and it was hard for me to get into it. As I kept reading, further along, I grew to like it a little. Honestly, it had a twist on it I wasn’t used to when I read urban fiction books. I didn’t mind though. The book gives you important and interesting information about the history of HIV/AIDS. Also, as I was reading the way the character was talking sound a little like southern slang to me. By reading the ending of the story Valentino is truly unstoppable. He’ll do anything to survive and for money.

Thoughts on the Characters

Valentino: I respect this man hustle, but I don’t agree with the things he is doing. Especially with pimping young females. The sickening part about him is the fact that he spreads the virus to these young women without them knowing. The only time I did like him a little when he was warning Dr. Goddard not to mess with the young hoes because more than likely they have the virus because he had sex with them. It’s disgusting how he spread the virus too! He knew how to pick the right victims though.

Dr. Goddard: I don’t blame him for feeling unsafe when he was staying with Valentino for a while. Sometimes I get paranoid and I know for a fact I couldn’t do that secret assignment. There are moments when he did act a little uppity though. He didn’t have to judge Valentino just because of the lifestyle he’s living.

Meredith: Her death sounded so painful. It made me hurt inside as I was reading the details of her death. Oh well, she caused everything on herself. She had a lot of lovers but that’s part of the game. She even caught feelings for Valentino which messed her up too because he wasn’t trying to have a future with her. Love will make you do crazy things for real!

Wilhelm: I am on his side when he was wondering why Meredith is messing around with Valentino knowing he has the virus. Then again, it wasn’t like their marriage was perfect anyway. I don’t know why he got depressed about things going wrong in his personal life because he knew his job would cause chaos. Good things don’t last forever.

Overall, the characters in the book played major roles in the book. Everyone had their own agenda. I could I understand their reasons though because I looked at everything from their point of view.

I will give this book a 4 out of 5 stars. The reason why I rated this book only four stars because it had me confused a little bit at first. It did have a good storyline though.  I loved the fact the information about HIV/AIDs were given in the book through each chapter. Also, the author was good at giving strong details of the scenes throughout the book. I recommend everyone to check this book out. If you do get a chance to read it tell me your thoughts on it. This book is suitable for a mature audience.

DON’T FORGET TO BUY THE BOOK ON AMAZON!

Click here to buy the book on Amazon

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Got Back into The Groove of Reading

Lately, I’ve been getting back into the groove of reading again. I’m so excited that I put myself back into the habit of reading again. No, I wasn’t at a point where I hated reading. I just never seem to have time for it once I start focusing on other projects that I enjoyed doing. Plus, my mind was clutter with so many distractions I couldn’t focus on reading a book if my life depended on it.

Honestly, it made me feel some type of way. I wasn’t used to having a hard time reading a book. I guess I’ve been so caught up with social media that it tainted my focus a little bit. Now that I’m back reading books I feel like myself again.

For those of you that don’t know reading was/is my first love. Ever since I was a child I was in love with reading. I will always remember using money that I got from my mom or family members and go to the store to buy books. Being an adult now I have a bad habit of buying books every chance I get lol.  I guess you can say it’s not a bad habit though.

Another thing I thought about is maybe I should start doing book reviews on my blog. I already started it on my YouTube channel and I realize some people do enjoy it. I don’t know if you have noticed I did recently post a book review on the last book I read. If you want to read the review click here. On my blog, I probably will post a book review here and there though.

Anyways, it feels so good to read again. Reading is my escape from reality. It relaxes me just like writing. I have a question for you. Have you ever had a phrase where you stop reading and felt some type of way? or Do you enjoy reading now? If so, what are you currently reading or just got finish reading?

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Homewrecker by Dwayne S. Joseph Book Review

Before I get deeper into this book review. I want to say this was the absolute best book I ever read! I enjoyed reading it. This is an urban fiction book you need to take a chance reading. Dwayne S. Joseph is a great author!

Synopsis

Lisette is an attractive woman who knows how to seduce men very well. She gets hired to ruin relationships that’s why they call her the “homewrecker.” This job provides her with a wealthy source of income. Everything is going well for her until a strange caller says they need Lisette help or something bad will happen to her.

Sharing my Thoughts

When I started reading this book it immediately caught my attention. The author did a good job of grabbing your attention on the first page of the book. Honestly, I thought the book would focus on at least one main relationship, but it didn’t. It threw in other relationships and connections with the circle of main characters which expanded the good drama in the book. There was no confusion about trying to identify the characters throughout the book scenes. The flow of the book went at a great pace. There wasn’t any rushed or dragged out parts.

Thoughts on the Characters

Lisette: She is a very strong woman. The control and power she has fit her character. I agreed with her when she said: “Relationships make you too dependent.” I connected with that line on a deep level.

Marlene: She is a sweet person. I didn’t view her as a weak character. She had a strong bone in her body, but she needed Lisette to push that out of her. I hated she cared what other people thought of her. Even though I hated it I still looked at her point of view. Marlene was always used to everyone judging her all her life so that’s why her mindset was tainted. She’s the type of friend you would need by yourself. Lisette gave her hell at some points, but she still was there by her side.

Kyra Rogers: She deserved everything that happened to her. Kyra should’ve known her “good life” wouldn’t last forever. She did too much dirt to people. Karma got her good. Dwayne did a very good job writing Kyra outcome. She’s full of jealousy to me.

Myles: He was so caught up in his own world of distractions. Most of the situations that happened to him would’ve never existed if he paid more attention to the outside world. I kind of felt bad for him with his luck with women. Then again, now I feel like he brought the last marriage disaster on himself. How are you so blind when it comes to gold digging hoes?

Steve: He’s such a nasty bastard! Nothing made me have respect for him at all. Steve is selfish, disrespectful, and a punk. This man wants to do so much dirty work but doesn’t want to pay for the consequences.

Conclusion

There weren’t any flaws in this book. The whole story is well written. I give this book 5 out of 5 stars. If you’re looking for a good urban fiction book to read I recommend this book for you to read. You won’t be disappointed at all. Also, this book has explicit language so it would be good for adults to read. If you have read this book before. Share your thoughts about it in the comment section below.

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It’s About You Again…

Yes, this poem is about you

It’s funny how you are stuck in your selfish ways

You feel like your problems are bigger than mine

Have you ever took the time to focus on my needs?

I know if I leave you then you’ll crumble

I’m the one who made you!

After numerous times getting MY HEARTBROKEN

I still stayed…

I never understood why though

The deep anger I feel for you grows more inside

All you’re good at is leaving me heartbroken

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Rushing into Relationships Isn’t Always a Good Idea

Rushing into relationships isn’t always a good idea. You didn’t take the time to learn the other person’s personality. Did you even figure out what you want out of a relationship before you rushed in one? Maybe you did, and everything worked out fine.

Let’s think about the bad outcome like things didn’t work out. For the first month, you’re in heaven and in love with your partner. Then during the next month, you see how rocky things start to get. The both of you seem to argue about everything under the sun. Your “puppy love” turns into hate towards each other. Everything you planned with the person erases from your mind.

After a while, you start to doubt rushing to get into a relationship with them. You’re even embarrassed that you proved everyone right that told you not to rush things. Relationships aren’t supposed to be rushed. In the beginning, it’s fine to take your time with the person you like. That’s what they have the “talking stage” for.

Give yourself time to enjoy the person before you get fully committed to them. This is the time to chill. The point I’m trying to make is if you’re rushing a relationship with someone. It probably won’t work out. Life is about going with the flow of things. If fate wants you with the person you have feelings for. Then you will end up in a relationship with them.

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