Off Balance

Empty feeling

Lost in deep thoughts

No motivation

Want to scream out of frustration

Okay, let me get myself together

Focus

I got this

Can’t fall off

Need to turn the negative thoughts away

Off balance

That’s not like me

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Light in Me

You saw the light in me that I didn’t see in myself

I thank you for that

Even the beauty in me I fail to see

How is it possible you bought this positive light

Out of me

Happiness rains all over me

A crazy effect you have on me

Smile shining bright like the sun on a Sunday morning

Don’t want this feeling to go away

Having you around

Makes my world brighter

Stay around forever

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Tired of Being the Strong Person

Sometimes you get tired of being the strong person that’s there for everyone. They seem so dependent on you to fix what they have going on. Which you don’t mind helping any way that you can but there are times when you need someone to return the favor. You have your days when you want to break down too. Sometimes you need some motivation to keep pushing through.

If you are expected to be the strong friend or person in your group it’s okay to sometimes let your circle know you need them to be there for you. Express how you feel because maybe they are not aware of what’s going on. Remember you’re the person that’s good at making things seem like they’re all together. Sure, you don’t try to put on a fake persona that everything is perfect. You may just give out that vibe that you’re fine majority of the time.

Most people forget that the strong friend, cousin, mother, father… etc need people to lean on too. They carry on the weight of their problems plus other problems too. It’s like they’re the superhero that’s expected to save everyone and put their own personal needs to the side. Sometimes they need someone to cater to them. Like I said earlier return the favor back to them. Especially if they always are there for you through your tough times.

If you know someone that’s around you that seems to be fine all the time. Try to check up on them and make sure they are actually doing good. Even though they might not always tell you that something may be going on with them. Deep down inside they will appreciate you checking up on them or even tell you that they appreciate you for asking how they are doing. Showing that you care can go a long way trust me.

Do you have any stories to tell about a strong person in your life? Or are you the person that’s expected to be strong all the time? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

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They Say…

Love yourself they say

But how?

Be confident they say

Why?

Stay positive they say

Why should I?

Believe in yourself they say

How?

Fight for what you believe in they say

Okay?

Work towards your goals

I’m trying…

Does what “they say” matter?

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Fly on the Wall by Trista Russell Book Review

This book review contains some foul language. Read at your own risk.

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Where can I buy this book?

ThriftBooks: $3.79 USD

Amazon: $6.99 USD & $4.99 USD (Kindle version)

Synopsis

Paige is a 32-year-old English teacher who develops an intimate relationship with her student Theodore Lakewood. Theodore aka Theo is a senior at West Dade Senior High and the star basketball player at the school. Everything is going well between the two until their secret gets spread around.

The Review Begins…

Fly on the wall has comedic, sexual, and drama-filled scenes throughout the book. The combination of the three makes the book very entertaining. When you read the first page of the book it immediately draws you into the book. There weren’t any dull moments in the book. That’s exactly why I love reading urban fiction books they always keep you on your toes. I like how the author included funny parts from “The Fly” in the story. Even though I’m against teachers and students having relationships with each other intimately. This novel makes you think that what if this is how situations like that play out in real life. One random thing I want to mention is how there was a scene in the book that made me realize that the song “Rock the Boat” by Aaliyah is a sexual song. I was in shock lol. Anyways, let me get back on track with this book review.

Towards the end of the book things got pretty intense. The truth really starts to unravel. There’s a unexpected twist that will have to in shock.

Characters

Honestly, I didn’t have any favorite characters in this novel. It’s not that I didn’t like any of the characters. I just didn’t connect to any of them personally. Every character in the novel had unique personalities. They remind me of every day you are around all the time.

Paige: A very intelligent woman. The only thing that annoys me about her is the decisions she makes when it comes to the relationships she’s in or starts to develop. Especially when she fools around with her ex-husband Craig. After all that bull he put her through there are times she still lets him get his way. I understand how she still loves him in a way but he should be the last person she should want to mess around with. She shouldn’t want his dirty dick 🤮. Another thing I want to mention is the fact that she isn’t as careful as she wants to be when messing around with Theo. He had her head in the clouds. One thing I can admit is that at least Theo was 18 though so he’s legal.

Theo: Man Theo was definitely mature for his age. I can see why Paige end up attracted to him. He can sweep a girl off their feet. He’s good at reading women too. That’s sexy and dangerous at the same time to me lol. I must admit he’s a smart kid. Paige got him pussy whip.

Eva Lakewood: She’s Theo mother. You can tell how supportive she is as a mother when it comes to his future with basketball. One thing I am surprise about is how you didn’t realize what was going on with Paige and Theo. Yes, of course she worked a lot. Usually parents still dig deep for clues when strange things are going on with their children. I guess she wasn’t focus enough to put two and two together as things were going on.

The Fly: Including the fly in pieces of the book was funny. Basically the fly is the one who tells the “real” story of what happen between Paige and Theo. Having the fly in the story is like watching a movie then it pauses so the narrator can come in and give you some background on what’s really going on. The fly brought some entertainment to the novel too.

Toni: She’s Paige best friend. I love how she keeps it real with Paige. Especially when it comes to stuff about Craig. There are times when I believe she can come off as a little judgmental. I don’t care for her husband Marcus because he was overly obsessed with the swinger situation. Marcus acts like he doesn’t respect her as his wife either. I don’t blame Toni for being mad at him about the situation that happen with Tara and Jamal.

Craig: I don’t have any respect for him. He’s so arrogant too. This man is the attractive asshole that you wish you would’ve never had feelings for. It’s funny how his feelings get hurt when his ego is bruised.

Trese: This little ghetto heffa played herself when it came to being involved with Theo. Too bad Theo wasn’t a fool for her. In a way, I feel bad for her because of the environment she grew up in which I believe influences her decisions on the things that she does. She better be glad Theo didn’t knock her upside her head cause she was outta pocket (disrespectful) sometimes.

Doran: Now I’m not going to tell the shocking truth about this man because that would be spoiling the story. For a minute he had me fooled. This man is something else. All I’m going to say is he’s someone that you probably shouldn’t trust.

Will: He’s Theo best friend. I’m surprise he didn’t figure out quickly what was going on between Theo and Paige. Even though he was one of the main characters in the book. He showed up every now and then.

Even though it took me foreverrrr to finish this book. I really enjoyed it. This novel deserves 5/5 stars. The author put a lot of effort into this story to make it good!! I will be reading more of Trista Russell books.

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Key to my Heart 💞

Find the key to my heart

That’s where it will start

When we come together as one

My heart will be released from the pain

This is not the time to play any games

I know you’re not like the rest of those lames

You showed me what’s real

That’s why I trust you with the key to my heart

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Vulnerability

Making eye contact makes me vulnerable 

You see right through me

Seeing my past 

Now my heart is racing fast

Hoping your stare doesn’t last

Look away

My soul is being invaded

This is not what I anticipated 

Why does this feel so complex?

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Timing

Maybe the timing wasn’t right

Waiting

And

Waiting

Patiently

Stuck between moving forward or staying in the moment

Sinking into a whirlpool of zoning into distractions

Trying to figure out different actions

To take

Going with the flow isn’t working anymore

Maybe I should believe the lore

That’s inside my head

Waiting

and

Waiting

Maybe the timing wasn’t right

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Story Behind the Picture

Behind the smile is sadness

Behind the clothes are scars underneath

Behind the tattoos is the meaning of unspoken truths

Behind the hairstyles is a personality change

Behind the eyes is the place many tears fell from

The story behind the picture

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This Thing We Call Love

Love

It’s sweet and sour

Can take over you like a strong power

Make you a fool

Do crazy things

Put you on a natural high

Love

Is addicting

Stronger than any drug

Love offers…

Heartbreak

A  lifetime full of happiness

Trust

Loyalty

A bond

How does love make you feel?

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