If Your Love

If your love is sweet

I want it

If your love is protection

I need it

If your love is pure

I need it

Your love is all I need

Shower me with unconditional love

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Lynn’s Close Call

Lynn phone alarm ring *BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.* The phone kept ringing until she finally turned over to push the stop button. The time on the phone showed 7:00 am. Lynn has to be at work at 8:30 am. She hurried up out of bed so she could wash and get dress. After she finishes showering and getting dress Lynn took a look at the time again. Now the clock is showing 7:35 am.

“I need to hurry up out this house before I am late.” Lynn thinks to herself.

She makes sure she has everything she needs before she walks out the door.

“Keys check, phone check, and purse check. That should be everything.” Oh yeah, let me make sure I have my wallet.” Lynn says to herself aloud. Everything Lynn needed is with her. She walks out her front door then turns around to lock the house front door.

As she is locking her door from a distance someone was watching her. This stranger has watched her for a month. The stranger learned her daily routine quickly. Lynn isn’t aware of the danger that’s coming her way. The unknown person gets out of the black van and walks towards Lynn. While the stranger walks closer Lynn could feel a weird energy. As usual, she ignores the feeling. For some odd reason, the feeling gets stronger with each second that goes by.

Before Lynn could turn around to walk to her car. She felt a sharp excruciating pain in her throat. The stranger in the black clothing grabbed Lynn from behind and cut across Lynn’s throat with an 8-inch kitchen knife. Blood splatter all over the house front door. Lynn dropped to the ground with her left hand holding on to her neck while she gasps for air. Her “killer” stood over her while she bled to death. A sinister grin spread across their face. “Enjoy dying BITCH!” the killer says while looking down at Lynn. Those were the last words Lynn heard before she went unconscious. As quickly as the stranger came they disappear even faster after leaving Lynn to fight for her life outside of her home.

Lynn woke up in a hospital bed. When she tried to open up her eyes. She is blinded by a bright light. Looking around the room trying to familiarize herself with her surroundings. Her first reaction was to panic because she had no clue where she was. The last thing she remembers was trying to leave her house for work.

Looking down at her stain bloody left hand there was an IV inside her hand.

“What the hell happened to me?” Lynn thinks to herself while trying to lift herself up in bed.

“Be careful Ms. Clover I don’t want you to mess up your stitches.” Nurse Summer tells Lynn.

“STITCHES!?” Lynn tried to shout but no words came out and it hurt to talk.

“Take it, easy sweetie. If you need anything you can write it on that notepad over there or type it on this tablet and send the message directly to me.” There is a notepad and pen on the table next to the hospital bed. Also, the tablet that Nurse Summer told Lynn about sat right beside the notepad and pen.

The nurse walked over to the bed to make sure Lynn is comfortable. “Do you need anything else?” Nurse Summer asked Lynn. Lynn shook her head no.

“Alright, press the nurse button on the remote if you need me or text me on the tablet.” Nurse Summer says as she walks out the door.

Left alone in the room Lynn is still trying to figure out what causes her to go to the hospital. Someone knocked lightly on the room door. A tall gray-haired slender man entered the room. Detective Reynolds walks towards Lynn so he can introduce himself.

“Hello, Ms. Clover I’m sorry to walk in on you. I would like to introduce myself and ask you a few questions. My name is Detective Reynolds can you tell me a little information about the incident that happened in front of your house this morning?”

Lynn grabs the notepad and pen she writes down “what incident?” on the paper. Then shows the detective the notepad she wrote on.

“The incident that causes you to bleed to death.” Detective Reynolds responds. Lynn’s eyes popped wide open when she heard what the detective said. He could see the surprised look on her face. “Do you remember what happened? Detective Reynolds continues to talk and ask questions. “A witness told us they were passing by your house and saw you lying on the ground bleeding to death.”

When the paramedics arrive at the scene you were already unconscious. Your throat was cut very bad. You’re blessed to be alive right now. Lynn listened to the detective carefully as she processes the information she’s receiving. She felt speechless, violated, and hurt. Who would do something like this to her?

TO BE CONTINUED…

Who do you think tried to kill Lynn? What would you do if you were in Lynn’s situation? If you enjoyed this short story share your thoughts about it.

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Beauty She Sees

Beauty

Is what she saw when she let happiness in her life

Beauty washes over her internally and externally

Skin Glowing

Blessings flowing

Self-esteem high

She grew into the person she always wanted to be

Life changed her

Proving enemies wrong

Dreams coming true

This is the life she envisions

This is the beauty she sees

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The Aftermath of You

Aspirin is what I need for the headaches

Broken hearted isn’t what I want to feel

Caring about you is something I won’t do anymore

Deciding to put you before myself made me look foolish

Enough is enough

Fuck how you feel

GO RUIN SOMEONE ELSE’S LIFE

Healing is a process I need to go through

I wouldn’t expect you to understand

Just my luck you change into a better person after I’m done with you

Loving you is my biggest regret

Numb is how I am feeling inside

Opened my eyes to see the person you truly are

Pleading for my forgiveness won’t change a thing

Questioning you wouldn’t answer anything

Remember karma will come for you

Soak in every word I tell you

Time spent without me will eat you alive

Unhappiness will no longer surround me

Waiting for you to change is what I am tired of

X-ed out the memories I had of us

Your wicked ways won’t protect you forever

Zipping up my suitcase and leaving with no return

The aftermath of you is what made my heart numb. Loving you is my biggest regret. Drowning in my pain. If you enjoyed this poem share your thoughts!

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5 Ways to Deal With a Nightmare

Nightmares come and go when they feel like it. The worst part about it is the fact we can’t control when it happens. It leaves us waking up in fear and not wanting to fall back to sleep. In this article, you will read a few tips that may help you if you are having nightmares.

Remind yourself it’s not real: Dreams can feel so real especially nightmares. It’s important for us to try to remind yourself in the dream that it’s not real. That reminder can calm you down a bit in your nightmare.

Pray: This is a tip you don’t have to do if you don’t want to. From my experience, I prayed to God to get me out of some of my nightmares and I woke up out of the bad dream. Once I start doing that it amazed me how prayer actually worked. It may some crazy to you but trust me it worked.

Don’t eat junk food: This is one of the most common tips. In case you didn’t know eating junk food before bed can cause nightmares. It may sound weird but it’s true. Crazy how food can affect how we dream. Just like any food can affect our mood. I believe it may be a myth though. Here are articles about junk food causing bad dreams:

Do Certain Foods Really Cause Bad Dreams?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dream-factory/201501/do-certain-foods-really-cause-bad-dreams

17 Foods that Cause Bad Dreams

https://www.eatthis.com/foods-bad-dreams/

6 Foods That Can Affect Your Dreams & Sleep

https://www.bustle.com/articles/136513-6-foods-that-can-affect-your-dreams-sleep

Use a dreamcatcher: Most people like to have dream catchers above their bed to catch their bad dreams. It’s a way of protecting you while you’re sleeping. Indians were a firm believer of the dream catchers. Even though I have one I never experience it taking away my bad dreams. Everyone is different though. You still should try it out.

Sleep with a Bible: If you carry a Bible with you then you should sleep with it under your pillow. My grandmother told me how she use to put her Bible under her pillow to keep her safe. I always thought it was clever.

After reading this article, I hope you find some tips that will work out for you. If you do try some of the tips share your experience in the comment section. What are your thoughts on nightmares?

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Urban Fiction Books You Should Read

Finding urban fiction books are tough if you don’t know any good authors or bookstores who sell those type of books. Even when I was younger it was hard for me to find books by black authors. When I finally discover where to get urban fiction books it felt like heaven. In this article, I will list good urban fiction books you should read. All the books I list are books I read before.

That Girl is Poison by Tia Hines – Desiree Jones was abandoned by her mother. She had to stay with her uncle and his abusive wife. Everything gets worse when she gets involved with this dude name Malik who leaves her pregnant and with HIV. Check out the book review I did on this book. Amazon price: $14.95 USD (paperback) $4.99 USD (Kindle price) 

The People vs. Cashmere by Karen Williams – Family tragedy happens which leads Carmen and Cashmere to live with their hateful aunt. To survive the sisters turn to drugs and prostitution. Carmen starts to get jealous when their pimp falls in love with her sister Cashmere which led to crazy events to happen. Amazon price: $6.99 USD 

Moth to a Flame by Ashley Antoinette – Raven’s dad is over the drug trade. He tries to keep her away from the street life but she falls in love with a stickup kid name Mizan who wants a come up. This book is really good. I believe I cried when I read it too 😂. It had drama you would’ve never seen coming. Amazon price: $3.99 USD

Mina’s Joint by Keisha Ervin – Mina gets out of the hood and is engaged to the Mayor’s son in her city. Everything seems perfect but things are not what they seem. Her life goes downhill when her childhood crush Victor Gonzalez comes back into her life. This book took so many twists and turns I wasn’t expecting at all. If you enjoy this book then you can read part 2. I haven’t read part 2 yet.  Amazon Price: $7.26 or $6.99 USD (the two cheapest prices I saw) 

Home Wrecker by Dwayne S. Joseph Lisette is a beautiful woman who works at a elite firm as the head fashion designer. One day her co worker Marlene comes to Lisette about a business deal that will make her wealthy. The business deal is to set up Steve (Marlene’s husband) to expose him as a cheater. While working her regular 9 to 5 job Lisette starts getting paid to ruin marriages as a Home Wrecker. Everything is going well until a strange caller threatens her life. I am just going to say this everyone got what they deserved in this book. Click here to read my review on the book. Amazon price: $6.99 USD 

Full Circle by Ayana Ellis: Carin is a young girl who was a stick-up kid with dangerous thugs in Brooklyn, NY. Then her lifestyle changes when she meets Monty. He is the guy who knocked her off her feet. Monty is an influential man in the streets of Brooklyn. Everything is going well between him and Carin until their relationships turn abusive and came with other hellish events. Man if I am not mistaken I cried when I read this book. It’s a thick book but worth reading. Amazon Price: $6.99 USD 

Diary of a Street Diva by Ashley Antoinette & JaQuavis Coleman: This book is truly a page-turner. It’s about the wife of a hustler name Caesar dying from a fatal gunshot. He has to go on trial for her murder. On the morning of the trial, he discovers her diary that holds hidden secrets of her past he never knew about. Amazon Price: $5.26 USD

The Prada Plan by Ashley Antoinette: This was the first urban fiction book I read. After I read this book I got hooked on the book genre. To be honest, this might be one of the wildest books I ever read. The story is about a girl name Diaysa Morgan who falls in love with a guy name Indie and tries to hide her treacherous lifestyle. The lifestyle is filled with drugs and prostitution. This book has a whole series. I didn’t get to finish the whole series though. Amazon price: $5.99 USD

After reading this article I hope you go and check out the books. Let me know if you want a part two of urban fiction books you should read. If you have read any of these books tell me in the comment section. Have you ever read urban fiction books before? Also, before you go I will list stores where you can buy urban fiction books.

List of Stores

Walmart (in the book department in the African American section)

Thriftbooks (randomly search up an urban fiction author then click on a book buy them then you should get other suggestions of other urban fiction books)

Amazon

Barnes & Noble (have to find the books by the author name. You may have to write down a list of authors before you go in the store unless you have specific books you are looking for)

Books- a- Million (they used to have an African American section like Walmart but I believe they got rid of it. So, just find the books by the title or author)

If I find more stores I will update this list. I only list the stores I purchase books from.

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Why a Person Grows Bitter Inside

A person doesn’t wake up one day and say “oh I will be bitter today” it’s always a story behind a bitter person. Yes, it’s hard to see past the individual bitterness but take your time to look deeper into why they act that way. One of the main reasons they may feel resentful is from some type of hurt they endure from the past or present. Not everyone is forgiving when they experience a heartbreaking situation. The happiest person in the world could go through a hurtful situation that may turn them into a bitter person. Like I mention not too long ago a hurt person grows bitter from past or present experiences.

Let’s say a woman or man went through a relationship where they loved someone wholeheartedly then their significant other cheated on them or does something to cross their loyalty. The man or woman who got crossed never got the apology they deserved or simply chose not to forgive the person who damages them. As days, months, and years went by they kept the pain buried deep in their heart or soul. When a person holds all that pain inside of course they are going to turn into a toxic human being. It’s only so much a person can hold in. Let’s not act like bitterness randomly appears out of nowhere and consume a person. There is a reason behind everything.

Now, think about this scenario a woman name Teresa came up with a business plan that would benefit everyone around the world. Teresa confides in her business partner about the plan. The business partner took her plan and took all the credit for it. Teresa wasn’t too happy about how everything took place. She felt humiliated and stupid for trusting someone with her golden plan. That was a slap in the face. Now she is stuck in a situation with seeing her ex business partner living off the luxuries of the business idea she came up with. No one ever cared about how Teresa felt. So, what do you think she did? Fought to take what was hers then when that didn’t work out she grew a grudge against everyone. That grudge led her to grow bitter inside.

Are you understanding the point I am getting at? As people, we are quick to say someone is bitter or an evil person by nature. Sometimes that is not exactly true. That one bitter person was probably once a good-hearted person until they let their emotions or past experiences take control of their life. No one wants to live a miserable life. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article I stated, “A person doesn’t wake up one day and say, “oh I will be bitter today.” Just remind yourself to be more understanding with someone. But also, don’t let someone take advantage of you either.

Do you know someone who is bitter inside? Were you understanding with the person or you kept your distance away from them? If you don’t know anyone like this can you answer this question at one point were you bitter inside from a past situation? Feel free to share your story or thoughts in the comment section.

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Far Away From Home

People stare

They view me as a monster

Far away from home

No family

Surrounded by strangers

I’m the one in danger

Kidnap from the only place I knew

Finding my way back doesn’t exist

Temptation came to me

Now I have to survive in this unknown world

Far away from home…

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Your Love & Lies…

Suffocated with your lies

Knowing the truth but my heart wants to deny

The love I have for you causes me to be so blind

Why can’t I leave you behind?

Loving you is convenient

But leaving you is heartbreaking…

The repeat of the hurt triggers me to hurt you back

I want you to feel the pain too

Early karma needs to come back to you…

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Suicidal

Suicidal…

What does that even mean?

A person who wants to kill themselves from all the pain they are enduring?

A person who wants “attention?’

Someone who is experiencing depression and anxiety that pushes them to be suicidal?

A person feeling numb from the world and wants to disappear?

A person who fakes their smiles so no one would discover their sadness?

Suicidal…

A person who is heartbroken because they will never be with the person they want and can’t live without

Suicidal…

Something that happens in the spur of the moment because you’ve reached your breaking point

Suicidal…

They told you that you were strong

But are you?

Suicidal…

The “thing” you thought of but couldn’t manage to…

Pull the trigger

Overdosed on the pills

Slit your wrist

Drown yourself in the water

Hang yourself in that bathroom or bedroom

Suicidal…

That little devil talking to you to give you the courage to do it

The cry for help because now everyone will see

The thought of finally being free is the only thing that sits in your mind

Suicidal…

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