Don’t Judge People or Their Life

Everyone has their own life struggles to deal with. Life loves throwing obstacles in our way. Even when we try to avoid them. It’s our jobs to stay positive and take some control. When someone is going through a difficult situation don’t judge their decisions. They’re doing what fits best for their situation.

Even though you may not understand it just let everything flow. Do not I repeat do not say things to hurt their feelings neither. Be wise with your choice of words. The person can easily take their anger, pain, and frustration out on you. I can guarantee you they have everything bottled up inside. Why would you want to say hurtful things to someone anyway? No one in this world is perfect.

Judging someone just because their life doesn’t glitter in gold like yours. Shouldn’t be the reason you think you’re better than anyone. Remember words do hurt. One day life is well. Then in a split second everything gets taken away from you. You can find yourself put through a similar situation as a person you judged. Stay humble. You always need to watch what you say to people. You better pray or hope the person has a good heart to forgive you. Then lend you some help. Not everyone will be open to care for someone who gave them harsh judgment on their life.

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© Reflection of Des 2017

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Letter to You…

You don’t know about my silent cries at night. You’ll never understand how much I still hurt inside from your mistakes. I’m so damage to the point I don’t think I can love anyone anymore. There is an emptiness in my heart. Nothing can make it feel whole again. Sometimes I blame myself for not leaving when I had ways out. Every time I tell you the truth you can handle it. I can’t stick around with someone who damages my heart. You were my first heartbreak. I was never the since that day or shall I say night. As I’m writing this my face is stained with tears. That shit stills hurt! Every time it replays in my head. The pain still feels fresh in my heart. Even though I want someone special in my life. I don’t think I’ll be able to love them like I want to. I’ll be stuck in fear that they will intentionally break my heart. I hate that it has to be this way.

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© Reflection of Des 2017

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Represent Where You From! 

I know I have readers from all across the world. Now it’s time for you to represent where you from! For example, I’m from South Carolina in the USA. Currently, I still live here. I’m interested to know where you’re from and what are fun activities to do in your country or city. Please don’t be shy to share with me or everyone else. Getting to know more about my readers help me connect with them more. Let’s get social. 😊 Also, put a link to your blog so everyone can go visit it!

© Reflection of Des 2017

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Started off My Morning on the Right Track

Good morning beautiful bloggers and readers.😊 I’m in a great mood this morning. This doesn’t happen too often cause I’m not a morning person lol. I tried something different that I don’t usually do. When I woke up I laid in bed for a while and was on my phone. A little while later I decided to go eat breakfast with my sister. For breakfast, I had strawberry and banana yogurt (yummy right?) and grilled chicken breast. I know it’s a weird combination to eat for breakfast but I was fine with it cause the food wasn’t too heavy on my stomach. After I had my weird breakfast lol I noticed it gave me energy. Lack of energy is something I always have so I was thankful my breakfast made a difference for me this morning.

My sister and I did a workout after breakfast. To be honest, eating a nice breakfast and doing a workout made me feel energized. Also, it put me in a great mood. I’m trying to start eating healthier and exercise more. Everyone, please pray for cause I know this will be a little tough for me to keep up with. I’m hoping everyone has an amazing day!

© Reflection of Des 2017

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Coping with Depression (You’re not Alone)

Dealing with depression is tough. It’s even tougher when you feel like you have no one to talk about it with. Depression makes you want to isolate yourself from everyone. There is a feeling of sadness, rage, and a head full of negative thoughts that linger inside of you. Lying in bed all day and night starts to be a regular routine. Please do not feel ashamed that you go through depression.

Just know that you’re not going through it alone. I go through depression myself. When I’m feeling this way I don’t want to be bothered at all. I have to lay in bed and cry things out. Then I have to comfort myself to reassure myself that I will get better. Since I can’t talk to anyone that understands what’s going on. I had to learn how to make myself feel better.

Some of you might be thinking why don’t you get out the house to do something to make yourself feel better. From my experience that only helps for a short while. When I get back home I’ll be attacked by my depression again. This is why I have to cope with my depression either through my writing or trying to reverse my negative thoughts with positive ones.

This article is a dedication to anyone that goes through depression like me and doesn’t feel like anyone understands you. I will be that person you can vent/talk to about how you’re feeling. That’s if you feel comfortable with that. Depression is serious. We all have to find ways to overcome it. Everyone deals with depression different so don’t worry. Sharing your experiences can help others too!

Here are ways anyone can contact me if they need advice or want me to share their experiences on my blog anonymously. Don’t be afraid to come talk to me.


Twitter: reflectionofdes

Instagram: xxdes_

Facebook: Destiny Allen 

Featured Image Source/Credit: UnSplash (Naomi August)

© Reflection of Des 2017

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Focusing on Myself and I’m Sticking to It

My Thoughts

This year is about me focusing on myself. I spent so much time focusing on other nonsense. I failed to realize I wasn’t making my own self happy. I started doing things that weren’t in my field of interest. I had to force myself to be happy with it because of others opinion. They were getting to me in a way. Eventually, I got to the point where I was fed up. This is when I push myself to feel confident in my skin. Many things I say may sound cliche, but it’s no other way to explain details about me.

It doesn’t matter to me if someone judges my choices. I’m not trying to live up to their expectations. I know what’s best for me. As time goes by I’m shaping into the person I’m supposed to be. Guess what I’m completely fine with it. No one will stop me from chasing my happiness! If you read this post tell me what’s your main focus for this year? 

© Reflection of Des 2017

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Storytime: The Year My Grandma Died (Part 1)

It was back in 2013 when I was in the 10th grade when my grandmother passed away. I know it was during the evening on September 12th. My mom, sister, and I just got comfortable in the living room eating dinner. It was another normal night for us. Suddenly, my mom phone rang. My auntie had called. She was explaining to my mom that my grandma wasn’t answering her cell phone. Something might have happened.

My mom didn’t make too much of a big deal out of it at the moment because my auntie and grandma always had little arguments with each other. She assumed maybe my grandmother was mad and didn’t want to talk. So, my mom called my grandma but she didn’t pick up her cell phone. She called my auntie to tell her that she didn’t get an answer either. That’s when my mom decided that we were going to my aunt house to see what was going on. My grandmother lived with my aunt at the time. We all put on some decent clothes and left the house. We stayed 20 minutes away from my aunt.

Finally, we got to my aunt house. As we were driving into the driveway of the house we saw the ambulance flashing lights. My aunt was on the ground crying and screaming “MY MOM IS DEAD!” One of the ambulance workers were right beside her and her husband. They were trying to comfort her. After hearing that from my aunt’s mouth we couldn’t believe what was going on. My mom, sister, and I were all crying in the car before we got out.

All I remember is feeling shocked because it happened so unexpectedly. There was a sense of confusion also because at the time we still didn’t know what was the cause of my grandmother’s death. Honestly, I had mixed emotions. I didn’t want to believe what was going on.

To be continued…


© Reflection of Des 2017

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Qualities that Attract a Girl Like Me

I’m not a picky person when it comes to finding qualities that attract me. I don’t expect anyone to be perfect. We all have our flaws. I won’t hold your mistakes against you. I like to get to know someone before I talk about what type of person they are.

List of Qualities…

Intelligence: Having knowledge is so important. I mean you don’t have to be the world’s smartest person but I need someone who I can connect with on an intellectual level.

Caring: You have to care about my feelings. I can’t be with someone who is selfish.

Understands when I need space: Sometimes I need “me time.” I don’t always like to feel smothered by my partner. Time away from each other sometimes will give me a chance to miss you more.

Does sweet things for me without me knowing: Surprise me sometimes. You don’t have to buy me gifts all the time. You can write a sweet letter expressing how you feel about me, getting me my favorite food, or listening about my day. Maybe even telling me how beautiful I am.

Loyalty: Loyalty represents if you’re going to stay by myself no matter what we go through. You have to have my back sometimes through certain situations. If you show me loyalty I will give it back to you. It connects with being trustworthy.

Honesty: I can’t trust you if you won’t tell me the truth. Even if my feelings get hurt by your honesty. I will still be happy you didn’t lie to me.

Trustworthy: It’s plenty of people who broke my trust. You have to show me genuine trust. Remember I can sense when someone isn’t trustworthy. DON’T TRY TO PLAY GAMES WITH ME!

I’m not done yet…

Ambitious: You have to have some type of career goals. It doesn’t have to be some high-status job. I will support your dreams as long as it’s nothing illegal.

Nice Smile: I’m a sucker for nice teeth! I want to see your nice smile shine in the sunlight lol. Why do I sound so lame?

A sense of Humor: I’m a goofy person who loves to laugh. You don’t have to be a comedian but try your best to make me laugh somehow.

Positive Person: I will always need positive vibes surrounding me. I can vibe with negative energy.

Kind Heart: You have to have a kind heart because I won’t feel safe with a cold-hearted person.

Maturity: We can play around sometimes. Let’s be honest, some point of time in our lives we have to be mature. I can’t be with a childish person who makes poor choices in life.

Faithful: It’s no point of me getting serious with you if you not going to be faithful. I shouldn’t have to go into deep details with this quality.

The list could go on…

I can name plenty of other things but I’ll stop the list here. These are the most important qualities that attract my attention. Like I said earlier in this post I’m not a picky person. Even if you don’t have all of these qualities. I can still make something work out.

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© Reflection of Des 2017


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5 Movies Teenagers Should Watch


As a teenager sometimes it’s hard to find movies that you can relate to. You’ll go on Google and sometimes get no luck. Don’t worry I got you. Here’s are 5 movies teenagers should watch.

Just Another Girl on the I.R.T (1992): Even though this movie has strong curse words in it. I think it’s necessary for teens to watch. Well, at least if the teen is mature to handle the language. This movie teaches teens especially young women how careful they should be when having sex. Teen pregnancy is the topic of this movie. You can find this movie on the Starz app. Honestly, I feel like this movie should get watched in early childhood class.

Cyberbully (2011): This movie teaches teens how cruel cyberbullying is. We should this is an important topic teenagers need to talk about. We all know how cyberbullying plays a big role in today’s society.

Freedom Writers (2007): Freedom Writers is a true story about a high school teacher and her students. From my point of view, it can show that no matter who you are. You can make a positive change on others like the teacher Mrs. Gruwell did for her students. Gang violence is talked about in this movie also. This movie was originally a book before it came out as a movie. You can get this book from Barnes & NobleBooks-a-Million, and probably your local library.

Save the Last Dance (2001): In this movie, you’ll see an interracial relationship between Sarah and Derrick. There were some friends and family that judged their relationship. That didn’t stop them from being together to a certain extent. I know there are some teenagers out there who are in interracial relationships that may get judged because who they are happy with. So I think some teens will be able to relate to this movie. By the way, this movie has explicit language in it but mature teens will be able to handle it. 

Bring it on (2000): This funny movie is full of high school teenage drama with cheerleaders. It’s a classic movie. I haven’t met anyone that didn’t like this movie. More females would obsessed over this move than men. I mean there isn’t a specific rule that men won’t enjoy this movie though.


Maybe some of you already seen these 5 movies. It doesn’t hurt to go watch them again. Each one of these movies teach every teen valuable lessons. If you’re a parent reading this you should let your teenager watch the movies listed above. Trust me they will enjoy it.

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© Reflection of Des 2017


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Some People Kills Me With Their Negative Comments

First of all, I can’t stand for a person to always say slick comments when you tell them about your situation. When it comes to them telling you their problems they expect you to not say anything negative. This irks my nerves. I know I’m not the only person that goes through this. This is the main reason I stop talking to certain people because I don’t like hearing their negative comments. Having their bad energy around me isn’t helping anything.

That’s the problem with people now they are quick to judge your lifestyle but don’t take the time to listen and view the situation from your point of view. It’s time to leave those people behind. Don’t have any regret about it. I’ll be a shoulder to lean on if you feel like you can’t vent or talk to anyone else. I give no judgment towards anyone. Readers, if you have people in your life that always want to throw negativity in your situation just stop talking to them. It doesn’t matter who they are. If they can’t support you in a positive way then forget about them.

In conclusion, be happy with everything that makes you feel comfortable. I can’t stress that enough. Sometimes you have to show people who their negative comments won’t bring you down and stop you from being yourself. Like the old saying “misery loves company.” Don’t let that misery suck you in.

© Reflection of Des 2017

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